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Augusto Pinochet
Augusto José Ramón Pinochet Ugarte was a Chilean military, politician, and professional bastard. He was the dictator of Chile from 1973 until 1990, when he stepped off his throne for slightly less mentally ill old fucks to take place instead. He is widely considered the worst criminal and dictator in all of Chilean history. Early Life Pinochet was born in 1915 to a family of Hebrew-Colombian immigrants. After some medical testing, it had turned out that he was born with a strange birth defect known as Diphallia, which means that he was originally born with two penises. Unfortunately for him, his doctor was urged by his parents to chop one off, and he snipped off the bigger one. This caused him to suffer from several mental disabilities ever since his puberty, as his man-gina caused him to be unable to get laid. That was, until he met a woman, called Lucía Hiriart, who was originally born with two vaginas, one of which was sewn shut after she was born. Involvement in the Chilean Military Pinochet joined the military when he was just 15, after seeing propaganda videos online about how Stalin was going to take over the world. After this, he realized what a shitty job it was, but his parents already has spent 60$ on the military uniform, so he couldn't really quit at this stage. While serving in the military, slowly making his way up the ranks, he reportedly tried to kill himself 3 times due to the tremendous amounts of stress. Unfortunately, Lucia always kept deflecting the shots with her 3 chins, where the bullets just bounced off. Involvement in the 1973 Coup On the 11th of September of 1973, after months of researching how to build a bomb on WikiHow, he heard the news that there was a coup that José Toribio Merino, César Mendoza Durán, and Gustavo Leigh Guzmán (leaders of other sectors of the Military of Chile were planning. Hearing this, he went out to the streets and started screeching about how this was all due to his doing, and everyone just kinda said "eh" and just went along with it. Dictatorship From 1973 until 1990, he lead a dictatorship in Chile known as "el Reino Colombiano" (The Colombian Reign). During this period of time, thousands of Chileans would be tortured, exiled, raped, and murdered by the Chilean government, and Chile suffered under a 45% poverty rate and a 19% decrease in productivity. However, according to this source http://kekma.ga that I found in r/Anarcho_Capitalism, Hoppe called it an "economic success", so none of your "sources" even matter, COMMIE!!! to the helicopter XDDDDD Life After the Dictatorship In 1990, Pinochet stepped down from power in what would become one of the most empty hopes in all of Chilean history. What seemed as an open opportunity for a different Chile was squashed by corruption, Social Democracy, and so-called "leftist" parties selling themselves out to the Chilean government. He died in late 2006, and all of Chile jumped with joy and glee at the death of the worst dictator and criminal in modern Chilean history. References